Signs of Change. Change is good.

Photo by Candy Zaffis

Change is good. 

Change can cause a transformation and to transform into something better is nothing but good. 

I saw an Owl tonight. 

I believe it was a Great Horned Owl much like the one pictured in this photo by Candy Zaffis. The big girl was perched in a tree staring and staring. She must have been 2 feet tall and was noticed first by my house guest, Rose. 

I went inside to get my glasses, and she stared at us for about 5 minutes or more. Then she took flight into the woods. It was twilight and not really late enough for the usually nocturnal bird to be out and about. 

I took it as a sign. 

As I was researching totem animals and what it means to see an owl, I found some really great insights into seeing an owl from Owl Spirit Animal. 

• Intuition, ability to see what others do not see 
• The presence of the owl announces change 
• Capacity to see beyond deceit and masks 
• Wisdom 
• The traditional meaning of the owl spirit animal is the announcer of death, most likely symbolic like a life transition, change 

And there it is again. Change. Life transition. 

I have woke up at 5:55 am for so many days the last two months I have lost count. According to Joanne Sacred Scribes, the number 555 represents: 

“Angel Number 555 tells of significant and necessary changes happening in your life that has been divinely inspired and guided. These changes will bring about long-awaited circumstances and results and will fully align you with your true Divine life purpose and soul mission.” 

Last week I visited Sundance ski resort and smelled the change of the seasons. The same smell at Deer Valley ski resort over the weekend. Forests are getting ready to change color. 

I welcome change and the ability to grow and experience more life lessons. 

I am clear on what I want.  I have tasted life in all extremes.  I have faced my fears and dealt with my insecurities.  I have the courage and am willing to take risks to get what I want.  I know who I want to spend my time with and when to take a break and focus on me.

I am not exactly sure what the change is, but I am ready to hang on tight and enjoy the ride.

Bring on change.

Five Ways an Overachiever Overcomes Guilt

Merriam-Webster defines an overachiever as “one who achieves success over and above the standard or expected level especially at an early age.”  My name is Linda.  I am an overachiever.  I beat myself up when I do not achieve to some unrealistic standard.  I achieve more than most people do.  I am unsure why I am an overachiever but it has history from my childhood.  

I found myself lately scheduling fun.  Not living in the moment.  Surviving and not thriving.  All in the pursuit of success to feed my fear of failure.  Anyone that looks at my life looks at a person who has a lot of fun while working hard.  I was having fun and then checking fun off a checklist.  That activity was fun.  Fun was checked off the list.  That activity was fun.  Fun was checked off the list and so on.  While I was having fun, I was beating myself up for not doing the 5 things on my task list for the day and worrying about the 5 meetings the next day.  I was making myself feel guilty about fun.

I wanted to work on overcoming guilt so I came up with the following methods:

1. Recognize Guilt (Unhealthy or Normal)

Some guilt is okay, even healthy.  For instance, if you indulged in holiday candy and ate until you are sick you should feel guilty about that.  You consumed 5 desserts and could hardly walk out of a restaurant.  You should feel guilty for both these scenarios.

But what if you worked an 80-hour work week and didn’t make it to your family function.  Again.  What if you refuse to delegate that task because the person you wanted to delegate to isn’t going to complete it to your standard?  I feel this is appropriate guilt and common for an overachiever.

Normal guilt arises when you can change your behavior.  It is the little accountabilibuddy in your life.  Are you working out?  Are you eating right?  Are you having fun?

I cannot be everywhere all of the time.  I do like to mentor and help entrepreneurs.  I do like to write for people.  I dread the person who says let’s meet up for lunch or coffee.  I immediately feel my heart rate rise as I try to imagine where I am going to fit them in my already full calendar.  I feel guilty for not being able to help them.  My guilt in this situation is unhealthy because it doesn’t serve any real purpose.  No mistake happened here.  Nobody died.  I just could not find time to help this person.

Unhealthy guilt is blown out of proportion in the overachiever and can put a spin on the day that could ultimately contribute to depression or low self-esteem.

2. Reality Check

Should you be feeling guilty?  So for an overachiever, you can take a mean of the people you hang out with.  Are you feeling guilty about not getting that 80th hour of work in this week?  Did the 5 friends you respect and hang out with work 80 hours?  I am sure they did not.  Stop putting the guilt on yourself with unrealistic expectations.   This is guilt gone wrong and can be unhealthy.  Go ahead and compare yourself to others.  Reel in that overachieving tendency.

3. Beware of Guilt Trips

People you hang around with and even other overachievers can make you feel guilty.  They can do this to advance their own agenda, often unintentionally.  Analyze the other person’s point of view and determine if they are accounting for your needs.  Be careful and always put yourself first in the situation and don’t overload your agenda.

4. Change sooner rather than later

If your guilt is normal or rational, healthy guilt, then take action to fix the problem.  Stop overeating.  Recognize you are working too much and change your schedule.  Apologize to the person you may have offended with the hasty comment.  Stop doing the things that make you feel guilty.  Get rid of the heaviness and live in the moment.

Accept you did something wrong, you are only human, and move on.

An overachiever will focus and focus on the fact they could have done something more.  They should have been there.  Stop engaging in the self-loathing, self-blame and self-punishment because you should have acted differently, you should have worked more, you should have been the better person.  Let that go and move on.  The more energy that is wasted on believing you could have done more will prohibit your self-growth.

5. Learn from behaviors

Guilt can be nauseating and can eat an overachiever alive.  You can feel guilty about anything that prevents you from achieving.  If you have found your guilt to be unhealthy, then you can’t really learn anything.  You need to change the behavior so you can get your stress level down. 

Grow some self-esteem and don’t let anyone feel guilty for taking your time.  Put your own work and family first and if you have time then spend it with other people.  Control your time and you will control your guilt about time.

If you are constantly apologizing for snide and careless remarks, stop saying the remarks.  Filter your mouth and wait to speak.  Get rid of the guilt associated with insulting another person. 

Perfection doesn’t exist in anyone

Nobody is perfect.  Looking at others and holding you to an unrealistic standard when the others aren’t leading a perfect life either.  Perfection cannot be achieved and striving for perfection can be a recipe for failure.

Guilt is one of those negative things that take time from thriving.  Like the author Andy Stanley suggests, break free from the destructive power of guilt, anger, greed, and jealousy.

31 Daily Affirmations for Professionals

Do you believe that you are what you think?  Do you talk to yourself or write things to improve yourself and think more positively?  We cannot rely entirely on thoughts or words but to constantly review these in the form of affirmations can create possibilities.  You begin to believe the words and put them into action.  We manifest our dreams and ambitions to make our words become reality.  

Affirmations are like exercise for our brains.

According to the article Self-Affirmation Improves Problem-Solving under Stress, a study revealed that self-affirmation improved problem-solving performance in chronically stressed participants.  Affirmations raise the level of feel-good hormones to relieve stress and improve problem-solving abilities.

I am determined to break the pattern of negative thought.  The constant self-criticism associated with an overachiever where nothing is good enough.  I have come up with 31 self-affirmations for the professional to repeat as often as necessary until the negative speech becomes a positive speech and in turn, positive actions.  I want to turn the words “I can’t” into “I can” and use the positive energy to my benefit.

The following are daily affirmations for 31 days of a month.  You can read them all at once or read one every day.  The important thing is repetitiveness.  You want them embedded to change your thoughts.  I use Post-it notes on my mirror.

1. I have energy and am highly motivated.
2. My body is healthy, and my mind is brilliant.
3. I am superior to negative thoughts and low actions.
4. I have been given endless talents and will utilize today.
5. I forgive those who have harmed me in my past.
6. I have compassion and love for my fellow human being.
7. I am guided in my every step toward what I must do.
8. I possess the qualities needed to be extremely successful.
9. My business is growing, expanding, and thriving.
10. Creative energy surges through me and leads me to new and brilliant ideas.
11. Happiness is a choice. I am happy.
12. My ability to conquer my challenges is finite; my potential to succeed is infinite.
13. I deserve to be paid well for my time, efforts, and ideas. 
14. I am courageous, confident, and I stand up for myself.
15. I set standards for myself and utilize firm boundaries.
16. My thoughts are filled with positivity and my life is prosperous.
17. Today, I abandon my old habits and take up new, more positive ones.
18. Many people look up to me and recognize my worth; I am admired.
19. I am blessed with an incredible family and wonderful friends.
20. I acknowledge my own self-worth; my confidence is soaring.
21. Everything that is happening now is happening for my ultimate good.
22. I am a powerhouse; I am indestructible.
23. Though these times are difficult, they are only a short phase of life.
24. My future is an ideal projection of what I dream of.
25. My dreams manifest into reality before my eyes.
26. I radiate beauty, charm, and grace.
27. Obstacles will be moved out of my path to experience greatness.
28. I wake up today with strength in my heart and clarity in my mind.
29. My fears of tomorrow are simply melting away.
30. I am at peace with all that has happened, is happening, and will happen.
31. My life is just beginning.

Repeating affirmations can turn thoughts into action.  Changing your thought process is the easiest and most efficient way to self-improvement.

Perspective, Heart and Transition

Step back in perspective, open your heart and welcome transition into a new phase of life. ~Linda Rawson

Stepping back in perspective

My perspective in life has focused on finding somebody to share my life with, a life companion, if you will.  The reality is I have lots of life companions.  I have loved, been loved and am never truly alone.  In the last month, I have had contact with many pages of my past that I thought were long gone including a very painful passing of a past love.  Some I find delightful and others I wish never to contact me again.  It seems the bottom feeders are out in full force while I am coming to the top for air and food.

Opening my heart

I am opening my heart to positive, like-minded, people.  I refuse to let toxic people into my life and have set boundaries.  By closing the pages of my past that don't benefit me, I can find peace and open my heart to meaningful relationships.

Welcoming transition

My approach to work and my environment is shifting with a new approach. I used to be a strong workhorse that never stopped until the job was done at any sacrifice.  I am switching to a smooth operator and working smart.  Realizing personal relationships don't always last a lifetime and making the most of family and friends.  Change is good and offers the ability to bring new in.